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Advice me, but don’t accuse me

Writer's picture: Srinivas RaoSrinivas Rao

Have you ever noticed a sudden shift in your #child's #behaviour, such as increased aggression, signs of depression and anxiety, a reluctance to share, or a tendency to hide things from you?

 

Or have you felt that your relationship with your child is no longer as #loving and #healthy as it used to be? If you've experienced any of these concerns, it's possible that constant #accusations may be contributing to these changes.


What a child expects from parents
Advice me, but don’t accuse me

The Impact of Constant Accusation on Children

 

Have you ever accused your child? The majority of parents, whether knowingly or unknowingly, would have done this to their children, but they are unaware of the downside of constant accusations.

 

According to #neuroscience, Neural plasticity, or the ability of the #human #brain to change in response to experience, is highest in #early #childhood.

 

If a child experiences something negative, such as being accused, this will create #neural connections that will cause them to think negatively about themselves.

 

A child's brain development, functioning, and overall #well-being may suffer if they are constantly accused.

 

Acquisition leads to negative self-perceptions which is not a good sign, so the expression "Advice me, but don't accuse me" emphasizes how important it is to provide young children with a piece of positive advice using an encouraging tone without resorting to the accusation.


The Solution

Using Appropriate and Uplifting Tone over Acquisition

Using an appropriate tone is crucial when communicating with your child. The tone has the power to either strengthen or strain your relationship with your child. It also helps them understand what needs improvement in their #behaviour.

 

Labelling your child as "wrong" or "bad" continually can lead them to believe they are inherently flawed. Banish labelling and instead, focus on encouraging them to grow and improve.

 

To make children feel loved and supported say this:

  •  I understand you

  •  Let's fix this together

  •  I value your efforts  

  •  You are not wrong, you are learning and growing

  •  We all commit mistakes and learn from them to get better



Being Patient with Your Children

 Sometimes, it can be challenging to handle children, when they consistently make mistakes or exhibit challenging behaviours. In such situations, exercising patience is essential because they are still in the process of #learning. Instead of losing your temper, it's more effective to say, 'Let's work on this together.'


Positive Effects of Helpful Advice on Young Children

Sound and helpful advice has a profound and long-lasting effect on children. It not only helps them develop a positive self-image, boost their confidence, and improve their relationship with their parents but also helps them better understand the repercussions of unhealthy behaviours, which in turn helps them choose good behaviour over bad ones.


Final words

Young children learn a lot during early childhood days and constantly accusing them will make them lose interest in learning and other activities.

 

As a #parent, it is essential to be aware of the fact that children who were subjected to a lot of accusations in their childhood days may carry over negative self-perceptions into adulthood.

 

The expression, "Advice me, but don't accuse me," serves as a reminder that young children are still learning and may make mistakes; instead of assigning blame, focus on improvements and offer thoughtful and helpful advice to shape their lives positively.

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